Day 43: Addicted to Love

My fiance, Michael, has been deployed for 288 days and finally comes home in 37 days!   We are on the tail-end of our time apart and I could not be happier.  At least that’s what I have been telling myself these past few weeks.  Since we are spending our first year as an engaged couple apart, the holidays seem especially hard.  I tell myself everyday that “we are almost there, stay positive,” it just seems extra hard around a time that is meant to be shared with loved ones.  Sometimes the sadness knocks the wind out of my sails when I least expect it.  This morning was one of those times.  I woke up, put on my running gear and kept finding every excuse not to go run.  It was not until I saw a glimmer of sun outside that I finally laced up my Saucony’s (seven hours after I put on my sports bra).

Randomly, three out of the first six songs I heard on my iPod were songs that we want to have in our wedding.  The songs immediately lightened my heart and took away some of the alone-ness I was feeling.  By the time I was done with my four miles I felt like my normal self.  This was the reminder that I needed that I do not need physically need Mike here to be happy, he’s always with me.  On my way home from the park I realized that I might actually need the working out for peace of mind right now, it’s helping me more than I ever thought possible.  This got me to thinking, what if whenever I feel sad I make myself do something physical?  It tends to be the best cure for me.

When I got home from my run there was a package sitting on my doormat from my best friend, Amber.  She sent me a Thanksgiving care package for my “last holiday being alone,” filled with a funny book, trail mixes, comfy pajama pants, a candle named after her (seriously, it’s called “vanilla amber”) and a creepy card calling me her sweet potato.  This package just filled my holiday week with a little more love.  Not only do I have an amazing fiance that I get to talk to everyday;  I’ve got best friends, an amazing family, an overly needy cat, long runs and relaxing yoga to get me through the next 37 days.