How Are You Holding Yourself Back?

It’s been quite awhile since I have written about working out, but today, I felt a tug at my little writing heart string to post about where I am in my sweating world.

Since my 365 days of sweat challenge ended, I have been continuing to workout.  At first, I thought that I would stick to working out everyday and I was quick to realize that it was not sustainable, and I was not happy doing it.  Too much time has passed to update you on what I have been doing every month, but I can fill you in on what my working out looks like right now.

shadowA couple of standout moments happened this past week while I was adorning spandex and sports bras.  The first happened when I went to a yoga class with an instructor that I knew I did not jive with (sign #1).  I walked into the studio, peeked into the class and saw one other student (sign #2).   Despite the lack of yogi’s, I rolled out my mat and started warming up.  All of the sudden this massive wave of intuition rushed over me and told me to leave before class started (sign #3).   I ignored all three signs and struggled through the hour-long practice.  It. Was. Horrible.   I left angry and upset with myself for ignoring such a strong internal vibe.

After class, I came home and continued to be upset for a few hours.   You’re probably thinking, “What’s the big deal?  It was just a bad class.”  True, it was just a bad class.  However, it sucked me into a vortex of negativity and I was having problems getting out of it.   My husband recommended a walk with Journey and himself to shake out this new funk.  We walked and talked about all the reasons why my mind spiraled OOC (out of control!).  I explained to him why I thought it was so important to understand the depths of my emotions and within 25 minutes, I was back to myself again.

The reason I wanted to share this with you was to reiterate the importance of listening to yourself.  Of course there are going to be times when you veer off course, however, it is incredibly poignant to question why you lost sight of your needs and figure out how to avoid doing it again.

I challenge you to really tune into your needs today.  Listen to what you want, figure out why you want it and then follow through with it.  Compare how that feels versus choosing to ignore yourself.   If it works for you, I’d love to hear how it goes.  Leave a comment below this blog and an action plan for how you intend to keep it up!

The Three Reasons You Are Not Losing Weight

**Sign-up to receive my newsletter, which will give you tips to shed all of your unwanted weight, learn how to overcome emotional eating, finally enjoy working out, create emotional health by making yourself a huge priority, and find more time in your life to spend doing the activities you love.  If you’re interested, I will be rolling out a new affordable coaching program this week!  It will only be offered in my newsletter and will be first come, first serve!**

We all have our reasons why we hold onto those few extra pounds.  Perhaps the weight protects you from going after your wildest dreams or maybe you do not have enough time to dedicate to the cause.  However strong your reason is, you can get past it and lose that weight.  As a life coach that specializes in weight loss, I have heard everything in the book.  I have also helped tons of individuals shed their reasons and move forward into living healthy lives.  Here are the three main reasons that are keeping you from losing weight and living a life you deserve.

Reason #1:  Excuses  Excuses are the biggest reason why people get stuck in a world of being overweight and unhappy.  I have heard excuses that range from “I do not love myself enough to lose weight,” to “Putting myself first makes me feel selfish.”  Whatever your excuse is, I have a hunch that you actually believe it.  Know this: Your excuses are not true and they are taking you away from living a life of truth.  The quicker you rid yourself of them, the sooner you can start taking the steps you have been longing for.

Action Plan:  Make a list of all of the excuses why you have held onto the extra weight.  Dig deep here.  Bring every single excuse to the surface and examine why you held onto that thought for so long.  The next time this excuse comes up you know that it is just an excuse and it holds no real meaning.  Let the excuse go and before you know it, you’ve proved that excuse wrong.

Diet
Christi Nielsen / Art Photos / CC BY-NC-ND

Reason #2:  Security If you have ever said something along the lines of, “I will start to date once I lose 15 pounds,” or “I will be happy once I lose weight,” then you are using your weight as a security blanket.  You are choosing not to live your life until you look different.  Start living your life right now!   When you allow yourself to do the things that you thought only your “skinny self” could do, you are proving to yourself that you do not deserve happiness right now and riding yourself the opportunity to live in the present.  When you allow yourself to live your life right now, the exact way that you are, you will be surprised what happens to your waistline.

Action Plan:  Jot down all of the things that you are waiting to do until you are at your ideal weight.  Choose one thing on your list and do it this week.  Rock your dreams at any weight and show yourself that happiness is not dependent on your pant size!

Reason #3:  Fear  There are a few different types of fear that can accompany weight loss; fear of making yourself a priority, fear of changing your lifestyle, fear of starvation, fear of working out and fear of being comfortable with oneself.  Whatever type of fear you can identify with, know that once you start working on whatever scares you, the fear will subside.  Remember how terrifying it was the first time you dove off a diving board?  Then you dove, survived, and did it again one hundred more times that day.  Fear can be paralyzing and can keep you from moving for years, or perhaps a lifetime.  Do not just wait for the fear to go away, work through it.

Action Plan:  Identify your fearful thoughts.  Once you have done that, ask yourself these genius questions by Byron Katie, “Is this thought true? Can you absolutely know that this thought is true?  How do you react when you think this thought? Who would you be without this thought?”  Once you put the fears out in the open, they hold less power in your mind.  Bonus: write down a thought that feels truer than your crappy fearful thought.  Set a daily reminder in your calendar with the new and improved thought and watch how your energy shifts.

These three main mental blocks come up time and time again.  They can manifest as a reality in your mind for a long time and convince you of a lot of untrue things.  Once you have worked through these things, start making changes slowly.  Do not shoot out of a cannon and make 100 changes to your life in one week, it’s not sustainable.  Just ask anyone who has cut out all carbs or tried to work out every morning at 5:00 a.m.  Start with small goals and once you have mastered those, move onto the next.  When it feels too hard to continue, take a break for one day.  Pick up wherever you left off the following day and find peace in knowing that you will get there.

**If you enjoyed this article and are interested in working with me one-on-one, contact me at betsy@betsyfrycoaching.com and we can start changing your life next week!  If you’re interested in the brand spankin’ new coaching program that will exclusively roll out in my newsletter next week, then sign-up today!  It is first come, first serve y’all!  This one will book fast.** 

Come on Over!

Dear 365 readers,

I would like to share with you what is going on over at www.findfoodpeace.com  Sign-up for my weekly newsletter (upper right hand corner on FFP!)and you will start receiving loads of free coaching tips, blog posts and coaching deals!

And for all of you who just loved hearing about my sweaty endeavors on this blog, rest assured that I will still write about those every so often on FindFoodPeace.  You didn’t think I’d just stop sweating, did you?

Checkout what was just sent out in today’s newsletter:
Have you ever really trusted yourself?

A situation arises and you know that no matter what you choose will be the right choice.

That is unadulterated trust.

If you have not been able to do that, you are not alone.  A lot of times people fumble over decisions for weeks or even years!  Only to make the decision and second guess themselves for a long time to come.

The lack of trust in your ability to make decisions causes pain.  And ultimately, gives you more a reason not to trust yourself.

Thankfully, you do not have to live the rest of your life in that pain.

If you have ever had experience with trusting yourself, I’d love to hear about it.

Looking forward to “seeing you” on the blog.

Thanks, as always, for being an important part of my world!

With Love,

Betsy

PS If you are looking to make some big changes in your life this Spring, I still have two one-on-one coaching spots available.  Send an email to betsy@betsyfrycoaching.com if you’re interested and we will get you rolling this week! 

All the sweat and love poured into 365 will continue on Find Food Peace.  I look forward to continuing to share wonderful-ness with you!

Find Your Peace With Food

Last year all of you wonderful readers followed me on a journey to sweat every day for 365 days straight.  Words cannot express how genuinely grateful I am for the support that you gave me throughout the year.  You gave me strength and encouragement when I needed it the most.  Because of you, I walked away from the challenge feeling like a strong, capable woman.

Along the path I shared a lot of my life with you and opened up a bit about my former relationship with food and eating.  At one point I dabbled with anorexia, but found it just a little bit too hard.  I settled in with bulimia for quite some time and eventually committed to binge eating.  For years, my relationship with food was incredibly unhealthy.  At this point in my life, I have rid myself of most of my eating issues and have turned my focus to living a peaceful life with food.  It does not mean that my struggling as stopped, in fact, I continue to fight my urges every single day.

In my coaching practice almost every client talks about their stressful relationship with food.  Every time it comes up, we use different tools, strategies and metaphors to help them find resolve with their issues.  I love sharing what I know with my clients and I cherish the relationships that we build together.  In the last few months I have felt a bigger calling to share my knowledge with the world.  Well, the web world that is interested in reading what I have to say!

On my new website I will be sharing some of my coaching tools, hat tricks and as much loving encouragement that can be mustered up.   There are big lofty goals that I hope this website can attain and with your help, it can get there.  So it’s time for you to buck up, get honest with yourself and know that now is the time for you to make a change.  Head on over to www.findfoodpeace.com and sign-up for emails to learn how.

Thank you again for reading and I look forward to getting to know you more on Find Food Peace.  Namaste.

How to love your thighs and your crazy aunt

365 Readers:  It has been awhile since I have posted here and I apologize.  I mentioned in my latest blog that I was cooking up something else.  Although it is not ready yet, I do have some content that I wrote for the new site that I wanted to share with you.   Enjoy it!

How to love your thighs and your crazy aunt

My philosophy for change is easy; you have to let go of your desired outcome and love where you are right now. What does this mean? It means letting go of the painful thoughts of what your life should look like and embracing the picture you have created for yourself right now. This is the first and the most important step that you will take on the road to a healthy life.

How much time and energy are you using everyday thinking about how life should be for you? You should have smaller thighs. You should be in a great relationship. You should be making a lot more money. All of these shoulds are causing you pain and are keeping you stuck in the life that you are in right now. It does not mean that you have to settle for a life without those things, it means you have to embrace where you are to get to where you want to be.clock

Learning to do this takes patience, persistence and most importantly, self-love. Here are five fun tips to fall in love with who you are right now:

1. Create time to make time.  Find time to care for yourself every single day.  Carving time out of your schedule to tend to only yourself may seem like a luxury that you cannot afford. However, living your life believing that you do not have enough time to tend to your own needs first is even more dangerous. How many times have you heard the spiel from the flight attendants about putting your own oxygen mask on before assisting others? Same thing goes in life.

Action Plan: Make a list of all the things you have to do during your day. Cut out a few of the things that are not necessary or find another way to do it. Ex: Have to clean the house? Enroll your significant other to help or decide that those dirty floors can wait until you have more time. Now take those newly free 30 minutes to exercise, read a book or catch up on a blog. Whatever it is you need that day.  Do it with the same amount of importance that you would have placed on something not so important (aka cleaning the dog hair off your floor).

2. Clear out your contact list. We all have a few people in our lives that drain us mentally, emotionally or physically. It is time to be brutally honest and ask youcontactsrself why you keep these people around. I call these people “drainers.” They will continue to drain all of your awesomeness out of you until you no longer have anything to give. Doing a friend a solid is a part of a healthy friendship, doing a friend a lot of solids and having to continually prop them up in their lives is not. Take a look at the people who make you feel alive inside and full of laughter on the outside; those are the people to surround yourself with.

Action Plan: Hopefully just reading that last tip has sparked a name or two in your head. If it did not, it could mean that you do not have anyone like that in your life. Give yourself a high-five for not letting them in!  If you are not sure if you have anyone like that in your life, then ask those light-up-your-life-friends if there are people in your life that you continually talk about because they make you feel crappy. Those LUYLF’s will be honest. Once you have the name(s), slowly let them go. Stop proactively making plans and take your time responding to emails/texts. Take note of how you feel with less of them in your life. If you notice a more positive you, then it is time to let go entirely.

planner3. Clear out your planner. We are back to looking at that wham-packed schedule of yours. Is there anything on your planner that makes you cringe? Perhaps a happy hour with co-workers and all they do is job bash? Or a dinner date with your Aunt who wants to talk about your recent weight gain?  You do not have to do those things if they make you feel anything but stellar. Those situations will just steer you further and further away from the happy life you are aiming for.

Action Plan: You have a few options here based on what type of person you are or are striving to be. Option A: Cancel the plans and continue to keep them off of your planner in the future. Option B: Inform your co-workers/friends/family that if you get together then whatever it is that you do not want to talk about will not be up for table chat. Then come to the event prepared to listen (sometimes it is more fun to listen than to talk) with a list of suitable topics to discuss. Ex: Aunt Sally, tell me about the first time you fell in love or the biggest adventure of your life. I guarantee that more fun will be had for everyone involved.

4. Ditch the Donuts.  We all have our favorite way of coping with issues in life.  Mine used to be eating copious amounts of donuts until I felt so donutsick that I (kind of) forgot what my initial problem was.  If you are here, then I am going to assume you turn to food when the times get tough.  What’s your poison?   Be honest to yourself and admit what you do and how you do it.  Do you eat in your car or when nobody else is around?  Or do you wait until you can go to dinner with friends and then it feels more justified?   Everyone has their way of dealing, it’s time to take a look at yours.

Action PlanNow that you have identified how you handle the pain in your life, it is time to dig deeper.  What is the pain that you are covering up?  Is it deep-seated and deserves some nurturing from a life coach or therapist?  Is it light-hearted and just needs a friend’s ear?  Figure out what it is and give it the attention that is needed to move forward.   As you are in the process of figuring out your issues, you will have to find new ways to help you get through them.  My favorite way is by going for a run.  It is just me, my rockin’ Les Miserables Pandora Station (not kidding) and my thoughts.  It is freedom in a sports bra clad disguise.   Now it is your turn to figure out what feels better than stuffing down your feelings with a bear-claw.  Lets recap these steps 1. Figure out how you (unhealthily) cope  2. Identify what it is you are trying to cover-up and how to address it  3. Introduce new (healthy) ways to help you cope.

5.  Retrain your brain.  After all of these changes have been implemented into your life you deserve a break.  I do not mean running back to the fridge to celebrate with a pack of Double-Stuff Oreos.   I mean that you need to reward positive behavior in your life with small celebrations that do not include food.  This is going to reinforce the changes you have made and signal the brain that it likes the change.  Change. Is. Good.

cityAction PlanHave fun with this part!  Create a list of all of the ways you can treat yourself for bringing more happiness into your life.  Example:  play fetch with the pooch, meditate for 5 minutes, drink a cup of tea, go to yoga, read a chapter in your favorite book, call a friend or zone out on a trashy reality show that you will not admit to anyone you watch.  Once you have your list completed, reward yourself every time that you complete an item from the list above.  Make sure that while you are integrating these rewards into your life that you are dubbing them that.  You deserve this reward girl, rawr!   Side Note:  feel free to add in animal noises if it makes you feel sassy!

These are the first steps in learning how to move forward in your life without making life altering changes.  When you add these in you will enjoy where you are and in return, stop yearning for those shoulds.  After all, those shoulds do not really exist.  They are just what you have created in your head to keep you in a safe place, paralyzed by fear.    Ready to make some of these changes?  In the comment section below, write about what things you gave up, what you added in and how life feels different.

In With The New

BrainstormsOh hey all of you lovely and loyal 365 days of sweat readers!

We all know that as much as I loved this blog, its time has run the course.  Tip: Never name your blog with a date in the title, it will eventually expire.  Fortunately, for me, I am d

one

grieving the end of this blog and have started to conjure up something so much bigger and a hundred times better for you dear friends!

The unfortunate part is that I am still working on the creation of the website.  I am making a declaration that this website of sheer awesomeness will be launched by the end of February-hopefully sooner.  Until then, I leave you with a quote:

“Losing weight and keeping it off requires that you live an unusually authentic, fulfilling life.  I believe it’s the mother of all psychological challenges, more difficult than kicking heroin, more delicate than surgery.”  -Martha Beck

I would also like to introduce you to a few new 365 day workout challenges:

http://somethingsweaty.wordpress.com/

http://sweetandsweaty365.wordpress.com/

http://afox26.com/blog/

http://sweetlysweating.wordpress.com/

http://haleycomet365.com/

http://endorphinfield.blogspot.com/

Please stop by and cheer them on as they complete their very own sweaty fantastic year!

30 Day Cleanse

Warning: Only read if you are interested in strict dieting and digestive issues.  Remember, I tried to warn you!

Yesterday I posted a picture of celery and peanut butter on Facebook  with the caption, “Day 6 of clean eating (no dasnackiry, gluten or sugar) and I have reverted back to kindergarten snacks. Surprisingly awesome!” and received a handful of requests to blog about my newly prescribed “diet.” Unfortunately, this is not a diet of choice, it is one that has been made out of a necessity to make my body not feel like it’s been stuck in a bouncy house with a dozen gorillas.  If this feeling sounds familiar to you, I have so so much empathy for your belly!

If you know me (even in the slightest bit!) than you know that I have had digestion issues for as long as I can remember. When I was at sleepovers in middle school I was always so embarrassed of the noises my stomach made as well as um, some other things (my apologies for that comment). To say that it is time to do something about it is the understatement of my life time. In the past I have gone to doctors and specialists to no avail. The good news is that they have ruled out anything serious and have diagnosed me with the rather (unfortunately) common irritable bowel syndrome. So that is my wickedly awesome gut history, I am so sorry that I felt like it was okay to share that with you!snack2

Now we skip ahead to the present time and there are some serious issues going on. I sought out the help of holistic nutritionist, Rachel Gerlach of Nutrition Works.  With her incredibly patient listening and intuition, she came up with a 30 day nutrition plan to help my body out of the distress that it has been in.  This about sums it up, “no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol and nothing spicy.”   On top of that she gave me lots of vitamins to help regulate my digestive system.  If you are interested in learning more about that, please contact Rachel (I am nowhere near educated enough to give you accurate information about how those vitamins can help).

When I first heard what I was not allowed to eat I freaked out a bit.  What the heck could I eat?!  No pizza for an entire month?  That does not sound like a diet, that sounds like hell.   Dramatics were allowed for only a few minutes.  I eventually cleaned up my attitude and stocked my cart at Sprouts with approved food.  Aspag week has gone by that I have been strictly adhering to the diet and I no longer miss the sugar or the carbs.  I can almost guarantee that part of the reason I do not feel like I am missing out on food is because I feel better.  When I feel better, I do not want the crap that made me feel like I was hit by a stampede of elephants.

If you are anything like me, then hearing what people actually do eat when their diet is very restrictive is more interesting than hearing about the diet.  Here is what my I am putting in my body today:

  • Breakfast:  gluten-free oatmeal with sliced almonds, almond milk, banana
  • Snack:  sliced vegetables with hummus
  • Lunch: green smoothie (apple, spinach, cucumber, carrots, mint, water and protein powder)
  • Snack:  celery with natural peanut butter
  • Dinner:  mushroom risotto with shrimp
  • 80-100 ounces of water (including peppermint tea and hot water with lemon to spice it up)

And this is what I ate yesterday:

  • Breakfast:  protein smoothie with vanilla soy protein powder, banana and almond milk
  • Snack:  Kind bar
  • Lunch:  rice, veggie burger and olives
  • Snack: celery with peanut butter
  • Dinner:  spaghetti squash with vegan meatballs and broccoli
  • Same amounts of water and tea

Honestly, I can admit that I do not feel like anything has been taken out of my diet and it is way easier than my dramatic self anticipated.   If you are looking to clean up your eating habits a bit- whether it is medically needed or for other reasons, I highly encourage you to do it.  Get over whatever fear you have of missing out on certain foods and allow yourself to be fulfilled with other things in life.    If you try it out, let me know how it goes or drop me an email with your favorite recipe!  This newly converted strict diet(er) will appreciate it greatly!

 

New Year, New Workout

Wowsers, it has been way too long since I have logged on and I apologize. The good news is, I bet that everyone has been so busy creating their goals for 2013 that you might not have noticed my hiatus. Maybe that is just wishful thinking! Regardless, happy new year and I hope you’ve set some powerful intentions for the year!

The last few weeks I had to take a hiatus from working out. I had a minor surgery that required me to sit on the sidelines for a few weeks. This happened a few days before Christmas and I am definitely not complaining. I could not think of a better time of the year for a doctor to tell me to “take it easy.” Although I cut out yoga and running, I stuck to at least a 30 minute walk with Journey everyday.

Now that I am able to do whatever my body would like, I decided to try something really challenging. 365 days of working out was challenging in the endurance sense, but I wbasement2anted something to push my physical limits in a new way. My husband kept hearing me talk about the Insanity workout videos and got them for me for Christmas. Bless him/curse him! I was able to start them three days ago…OH MY DARN GOODNESS! I’d add in some expletives, but I do not think WordPress would think highly of that.

The first day was the “fitness test.” I almost gave up two minutes into it, figuring I was never going to be able to do these workouts. The only thing that kept me going was a facebook comment from a friend that said, “get through day three of it and you will love it.” I was really holding onto that comment like it was the holy word!

After I was done with the fitness test I went for a run. The next day, my legs felt like jello. I liked that feeling and I wanted more of it. I decided that I will stick to the 60 day Insanity program and add in 3 basement5days of yoga per week, along with a walk with Journey for at least 30 minutes per day. To keep track of this, I have created a spreadsheet that I will hang in the basement to keep me motivated.  It sounds like a lot when I write it out, but in actuality, Insanity takes place in our basement for 30-40  minutes and the walks are just for fun. The yoga is added in there to keep my mind clear and to stay centered.

Today I had a huge realization that made me run to my computer when I was done insaning. The first two days of Insanity I felt like I looked like a baboon trying to Zumba. The image I was creating of myself working out was not pretty. It was actually so bad that it was making me slack in fear of what I looked like. It sounds so silly to write, but my hunch is that you so know what I am talking about. After two days of allowing that negative thinking to affect my body physically, I decided to change my tune.

For my workout today, I decided I was going to act like I was one of the buff chicks in the video. Not only did I not feel like a Zumba’ing baboon, I felt like I belonged with the people in the video. It was still insanely challenging, however, I was able to power through with a lot more stamina when I let go of the negative thoughts.

This same mentality can be applied to every aspect of life. I know that I did not just stumble across something that no one has ever heard before. I just saw the result of it play out in my life in such a potent way that I knew I had to share it. Try it out on your next workout, client call, first date, conversations with strangers, etc. Replace your negative thought with something empowering and see what happens.

If it works, send me a line and let me know how it goes. Happy new year, happy thoughts!

Love Extra Hard

Happy Everything to you and your loved ones! journey

Day of Peace

I have gone back and forth on whether I should write a post about the horrific tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  There have been so many beautiful articles written about the lives lost and how to continue down the road of healing.  What could I possibly offer that has not already been said hundreds of times? 

I am not sure.  But what I can offer is more love and prayers going out to the loved ones who have been affected and daily meditational peace being sent to thereaching-out-L-g3Y2Kjm from Colorado.  I know that it is not just me, it is everyone that has felt the pain of this tragedy.   Everyone watches the news and thinks “this could have been us, this could have been in my backyard.”  Unfortunately, it has been in the Colorado backyard too many times.   As a community, we know all too well the type of grief that Newtown is feeling.  I have a hunch that there are millions of beautiful prayers being sent daily to Connecticut from this lovely state. 

I have heard some say that sending love and prayers is not enough.  We need action.  I agree, action needs to be taken.  The real question is, “what kind?”.   My hope is that something happens, but not until all of these beautiful souls have been laid to rest.  Let us all come together in peace and send them off to a better place with all the love we can muster up. 

Coloradoans, if you are looking for a way to help heal some wounds, then checkout this event: http://www.coloradodayofpeace.org/ 

*Picture from the Colorado Day of Peace website.